I always forget that the boys in Wisco are different from the boys everywhere else. I'm sure that someone will jump down my throat for saying this...like I haven't met enough midwestern boys or something...but they're different. Special different. They're wholesomer. More traditional. They give off a more monogamous vibe. Something about them says traditional, but not in a retro, ironic way like my western boys. In a more serious, no-bullshit way that confuses me.
Opie's like that. He really actually wants a minivan and a dog, a white picket fence and someone making him dinner. It's why I knew after the first date that we weren't going to end up together. (Why we dated for another 9 months after that is a different story. A much dumber story).
These boy scouts make me feel evil, and guilty, like I'm going to break them. I feel like a cat playing catch-and-release with a mouse. I can usually tell pretty quickly if I'm talking to a MonoBoy, but I never know when I should let him go. And let him go isn't even the right phrase to use, because they never believe me when I tell them I'm not what they want. It's more that I should push him out of the way and tell him to run for it. I should drive them out to the desert blindfolded so that they can't follow when I leave.
So if a guy is looking at me like I'm potential GF material...which is laughable on many, many levels...and I'm looking at him like he's a snack, what am I supposed to do? When am I supposed to do it? Dropping hints and being passive-aggressive never works, and usually results in me texting Damaged to ask him to ghost-write my breakup email. (That's a fucked-up sentence right there, but it is what happens). I don't want to give up being faire flirty, but I don't want puppy dogs trying to follow me home anymore, either. It hurts too much, which possibly proves that I have a little bit of a soul left in there after all. I need a way to say this is just pretend, a way to say you're cute, but you still live in the pet store.
Insecurity leads to possessiveness. A boy looks at you and immediately becomes insecure. Then, if you do date him, the insecurity increases because now he doesn't want to lose you. He devolves to possessiveness. You're the only one for him and he's not letting go. Ergo, monogamy. I don't think it's really a matter of location, it's a matter of the invidual. Maybe your Wendy persona is more attractive to the many Peter Pans you've had and seem to keep having. What to do? I don't know. It's up to you.
ReplyDeleteHave them read your blogs before agreeing to a second date with them. That way, it's not your fault if they can't take the news that what you had together was just a passing thing...and that you are NOT the "Little Woman" of their "Leave it to Beaver" dreams.
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